What is a Kender and where's the Dragon?

For those of you who might have read my blog years ago when I was actively updating it during the Great Blog Craze of '06, I was referring to everything in terms of dragons. I used caves, lairs, horde, etc to explain various things. So why, after all these years, have I returned and not use the dragon motif?

Because.

That's it's really. That's the whole reason why. I sat down at the registration page where it asked me what I would like my web address to be. Well, it wouldn't let me use the old one I had years before. For some reason they locked it down and it can't be registered again. Perhaps my boring tales of love, work, and Colorado made them so enraged that they wanted to ensure no one ever again had to be subject to it! Of course they allow all the emo crying pages go free...it's an unfair world I tell ya!

So I'm sure you may be asking yourself "So what the fuck is a kender? Some sort of venereal disease?"

Can't come into work today boss, I got a case of the kender! Burns like hell.

As tempting as it may sound to name my new blog off of some sort of medical discovery, a kender is actually a type of person. A race so to say.

Travel with me to the nerd world for a moment. Seeing as I spent most of my high school years in the nerd world, I'll be your tour guide. To the left is the Hall of Pocket Protectors and Retainers! Please hold your ooo's and aahh's until after the tour. To the right, the Chess Club! Where exclaiming "CHECK MATE!" is the closest thing to an orgasm that nerds may get.

But I digress...I've always wanted to say that...

A kender comes from the world of Dungeons and Dragons. It's a halfling like creature that loves shiney objects and is probably the poster child for ADHD. They're hyper, steal everything that isn't bolted down, and talk a lot. They love to tell stories and usually end up stretching the truth and make up exciting parts just because in their mind it works.

So am I a kender? Yes. One of my alter personalities. The reason I named the blog after these adorable annoying creatures is because this blog is dedicated to the randomness of my mind. Don't expect any sort of flow. Don't expect logical reasonings for my analogies. I'll compare an ipod to a hamster just because I can damn it (by the way, earphones don't plug into a hamster very well...they tend to get upset)!

So sit back, don't relax, and try to keep up. I don't slow down or pull over for anybody. If you fall off this perverbial bus, I'll back up only to run your dumb ass over!