Liars!!!

Hello my little monkeys.

Today I'm going to tell you a grand story about these magical little things called e-mails. You see, where I make the green dyed version of trees cut into little rectangles, I get these daily. Most of them are other little monkeys who have problems with various things. So it's my noble quest to solve their problems. Not sure why monkeys have that many problems...all they do is swing in trees, eat bananas and throw their feces at each other. Sounds a lot like the large corporations doesn't it?? Big monkeys.....

Anywho....yes who....

So I get these e-mails from time to time and they have a video attached! Like a little kid on Christmas I perk up and excitedly open my new found gift. I mean, no complaints? No boring text! Moving pictures and sound!! Joy!

Then I'll watch the video. A death defying stunt of a plane that losing it's wing mid flight. It barrel rolls and flies wildly out of control. Then coasts like a shark...think about it......fin out of the water....wing....forget it. If you don't get it, I'll get the bus.

Right before crashing into the ground the plan miraculously flips right side up and SLAMS into the ground! Wheels down. Rolling to a safe stop. The pilot gets out and waves to the crowd before wiping the sweat from his brow.

EXCITING!!!!!!! But wait...something caught my eye. I replay the death defying stunt! Right before the plane flips around, the camera blurs. This obviously professional cameraman keeps the camera fairly steady and in focus the entire time...but just milliseconds before it lands the camera blurs up! How could he?!



Then it hits me.

It's all a lie. They flat out, brutally lied to me! ME!!! Master Kender!!

I know. I can't believe it either, and before you start a riot in my name (how I do love a good riot) let me explain what else I found.

I did some research....ok so I went to snopes.com and looked it up. And sure enough there was the article on this amazing feat. They have the video posted . It explains how the video is meant to be fake. It's an advertisement for a clothing company in Europe....crazy Europeans!

I quickly switch back to the e-mail and what the person wrote who sent it to me: "Who says you need 2 wings to land? Amazing feat by Air Force Pilot! Only shows the USA trains them the best!!!!!"

Really? This was the government's doing? "ALRIGHT MAGGOT!! TODAY WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL THROUGH THE AIR AND HAVE YOU LAND WITH ONLY ONE WING!! NO DON'T WORRY ABOUT SAFETY...I'LL BE PERFECTLY FINE OVER HERE...."

Stupid monkeys....

So I have a request. It'll start out small but I believe with the power of this internet it'll be a success!! We're starting a new trend here and now! Whenever you attach a video to an e-mail and type how amazingly real it is, look it up. Make sure it's not fake first. For the love of Jeebus LOOK IT UP FIRST AND FIND OUT!!

Then you little monkeys will become smarter for it.

Kender - out